The match will be the first at the helm for bosses of both clubs–Martin Jol of Hamburg (who, from henceforth, will be referred to as BMJ [Big Martin Jol--a moniker that has stuck with him since his days with Spurs] in this space) and Jürgen Klinsmen of Bayern–and should be a cracker, as HSV are have not suffered defeat at the Allianz-Arena since it opened 3 years prior.

Also of interest to Rothosen supporters are the dates of the Nord-derby with Bremen (boo! hiss!) on Match Days 14 (21-23 November, at home) and 31 (8-10 May, away). The fixtures play out such that HSV are on home and away on alternating weeks in the Bundesliga, save for back-to-back road games versus Bochum and Koln/Cologne at the end of the first half, and the corresponding home fixtures to conclude the campaign in May.

You see, I haven’t won anything since I was voted in as parliamentarian in the student council election in the fourth grade.  And as I wrote earlier this week, the greatest of ironies is that I seem to have won a voucher to a football shop, but I am now sidelined due to an injury for the next 9 months. The reallly funny thing (as was pointed out by Budesliga meister Jan) is that I was HORRID at predicting the scores of HSV matches this season past in my blog. My excuse this time: I was picking with my head, not my heart; and there was no Holsten/Astra/Paulaner involved.

A big shout of thanks to Ian Rose of the Offside for serving as Admin for the Pick’em game. Ian, I’ve run enough sporting pools to know what a pain in the arse compiling the results is.  The secret to my success? As stated previously, copious amounts of blind luck. I seem to recall making my picks at work and sticking to my old college (gridiron) football pool addage, “If you’re spending more than 30 seconds on your picks, you’re wasting your time.” Well, maybe I can take the voucher and buy myself the strip of whatever club Rafael van Der Vaart lands with.

For some crazy reason, SPL champions Celtic are willing to throw away offer £2M (€2.5M) for Atouba, who was been described in these pages as worthless, petulant, a cancer, and dead wood. Sounds good, where do we sign? The problem is that the present offer is verbal. I can’t wait ’til we get it in writing, and according to the story, it’s just a matter of time. Hopefully, club management won’t express their utter glee at getting an offer and get the offer rescinded.  The best news? Seems there was some competition for Atouba’s “services” with Wigan.  Hah! Oh, and the €2.5M transfer fee? It’s just about what we paid to Mainz for Mohamed Zidan, so we won’t end up losing money on that deal either. :)  As loyal reader Ajax Matt pointed out, it’s like getting a wart removed and getting paid for it.  Who cares about the details, it’s gone. The transfer season is already looking up!

For those of you old enough to remember Ren and Stimpy, the title of this post was the old Muddy the Mudskipper theme song, or so I seem to recall. But it succinctly describes how I feel today at reading this news.

A story today details a deal between HSV and Saudi side Ittihad Jeddah which sends erstwhile striker Mohamed “Zizzou” Zidan on a one-year loan. Jeddah beat out Fulham for the Egyptian national’s services. It is a move that ends the drama between Zidan and the club, that culminated in a series of he-said/she-said quarrels in the media with former manager Huub Stevens. Zidan alleged that Stevens hated him and held a grudge against him; Huub maintained that the club’s directors told him (Huub) to bench Zidan and that Zidan was hated in the dressing room. Whatever. It’s over.

Vincent Kompany and Vadis Odjidja-Ofoe have been named to Belgium’s provisional roster for the upcoming Olympic Games in Beijing. There is some consternation between the club andthe Belgian national side, as the players’ inclusion in the side was never discussed before hand with the club. There are several clubs (notably Barcelona-Messi, and Bremen-Diego) who are withholding young stars from the Olympics so that the players can train and play in early season matches with their clubs. My opinion is that HSV should let Ofoe play and withhold Kompany–it’s a long season and we don’t need him suffering an injury in Beijing or wearing down next spring.

Also: Rafael van Der Vaart’s personal website is only available in Dutch and English now. It was formerly available in German too. So, can we narrow down where VDV is likely to transfer? Probably. Let’s see . . . Eredivisie? Been there, done that.  English Premier League? Hmmm. What do you think?

On a personal note, much like the Cedar River, it appears that I have surpassed all former high water marks. Going into today’s final of the Euro, I currently sit 2nd in the table on 71 points, right behind Leslie of Victoria, BC (On a side note, Victoria BC is, without question, the most beautiful city in the world. Categorically. It’s a lot like a small London, without the unfavorable exchange rate and 7 hour flight. But I digress. . .).  The real irony would be if I somehow managed to win the bracket, and with it the $200USD prize to UKSoccerShop.com, because I tore my left Achilles tendon in a recreational match on Monday night, and won’t be playing football for another nine months or so. Ha.

The whole VDV-to-United thing is a bit of a bolt out of the blue. A couple days ago, I couldn’t figure out why United would want VDV–in my estimation, their lineup was set and you could hardly argue with the results. (FULL DISCLOSURE: If you read my blog at all, you know that I am a Chelsea supporter, too, and not real big on ManU.) BUT, with the Ronaldo-to-Real saga building to a crescendo, United may find themselves in the market for an young(-ish) attacking midfielder and enough money to buy whomever their red-devil hearts desire. This story gets a little more complicated by the hiring of Luis Felipe Scolari by Chelsea and Jose Mourinho. Scolari muddies the waters in that he’s Brazilian and all, and now every Brazilian midfielder in Europe–well really just Deco and Ronaldinho–is linked with a Chelsea transfer, thereby blocking a potential move to Chelsea for VDV. Mourinho is back to mucking things up with his Chelsea connections and according to The Sun are set to make an offer for Chelsea icon Frank Lampard over the weekend. OK, if I get this straight, VDV could be going to United, but only if they let CR7 go to Real, which they seem totally inclined not to do. And he may not be going to Chelsea as Lamps replacement (DON’T DO IT FRANK! DON’T DO IT!)–who seem to now fancy a more samba-esque flavor to their dressing room–as has long be speculated.

I love summer reading. All in all a good way to end the week.

Ivica Olic has showcased his talents at the Euro and certainly could command a high-price in the transfer market this summer. Previously, he was linked with move to EPL side Portsmouth. Now, he is allegedly being sought by the Scousers (b-t-w, if you’ve never had labskaus, I recommend you try it once. In Hamburg, the place to go is the Old Commercial Room in St. Pauli. It’s kind of a tourist trap, but I can say I have my certificate. It’s really not all that bad and it’s open late. The service is a bit sketchy late though.). Fortunately for HSV supporters, he is rubbishing the speculation and has said he is going to remain in the Bundesliga. Extending Olic’s contract has been a priority at the club for some time now, and he and his wife have a child on the way, and are preparing to make the Hamburg area their permanent home. The club held off on inking him to a contract extension (a la’ Frank Rost) until the club had named their new manager. Well we have our man and now it’s time to re-up Olic.

More interesting transfer lies news from jolly old England where it turns out that ex-HSV star Kevin Keegan fancies our Guy Dimmel. Not sure why, but we’ll take the money.

HSV kick off the 2008/09 season with a friendly at home with Manchester City on July 26th.

And finally, your worthless faithful scribe is not performing too shabbily in the Euro 2008 Predictor contest. Through the group stages yours truly sits in a tie for 7th place overall on 30 of 48 possible points. I can’t even remember who I had winning the whole affair, so this is likely the high water mark for my entry. And on that note, let’s hoist our cups. Skol!

Arsene Wenger’s been watching Da Man since Vince was 16. Wenger further reveals that while he adores Kompany, Kompany is not a transfer target this summer.

An interesting interview with VDV’s “second papa”–former Ajax star Sjaak Swart. He’s advising VDV to go to England–particularly, The Big Four.

You can guess where I spent my morning. Colin Benjamin has missed Namibia’s last two WC qualifiers (losses to Zimbabwe and Guinea) with a toe injury he suffered this past spring in Hamburg. He will be fit and ready to go when pre-season training commences in July.

I guess there is some tiny bit of news fresh perspective in this story in that 1) there aren’t the usually continental suspects (Juve, Inter, Barca–doesn’t it seem like 10 years ago now that we were throwing around Valencia?); and 2) the author speculates that there are a whole lot more EPL sides than just Chelsea now following our boy.  The best thing to come of this: If there really are that many EPL sides interested in VDV, his price will be sky high.

OK, let’s pretend that there is some merit to all of the teams mentioned. Who realistically would want him?

Chelsea? Sure, especially if Lampard walks. Have the means as well.

United? Not so sure. Who’s out for United to bring VDV in? Definitely have the dough.

City? Maybe. Have the means.

Newcastle? Maybe. Not sure about the €/£/$.

Spurs? Maybe. Not sure about the €/£/$, not that I have doubts, I just don’t know.

Scousers? Again, not so sure. Same question as United–who’s out to make room? Not so sure about the means at this point.

This kind of thing is fun to write about and there are so many scenarios below the surface to explore–what does HSV do with the transfer fee? What players might be thrown in if it’s a cash and players deal? What will HSV’s lineup look like come August?

BUT, considering the source and the time of year, this is the highest of high comedy, as my muse might say.

Euro News:

VDV was sublime for Holland versus Italy. ‘Nuf said. A couple more performances like that and he will get a nice fat payday from a big club come July. Can’t leave out Nigel de Jong who also turned in a very strong performance in support of Holland’s (previously suspect) back line. And lastly, Joris Mathijsen put in a brilliant day’s work on the aforementioned back line for Holland, holding Bundesliga scoring champ Luca Toni goalless. David Jarolim played a solid if unspectacular match for the Czech Republic in their 1-0 victory over host Switzerland. Ivica Olic was flying all over the field and really the only Croatian player who continued to press the attack after being fouled in the box in the early minutes of Croatia’s 1-0 victory over co-host Austria. And lastly, Piotr Trochowski was an unused sub in Germany’s 2-0 victory over Poland.

Player News:

Frank Rost is going to be given a contract extension, as well he should. He broke the club records this past season for fewest goals allowed (26!) and most clean sheets (13!!). Rost wants to end his career at HSV and the club is set to give him an extension through 2011. The club had previously talked with Rost’s agent, but weren’t willing to commit to an extension until after the new manager had been selected. BMJ (that’d be new manager Big Martin Jol) immediately gave his approval to the idea and a deal is in the works.  Thoughts: While the guys in front of him deserve some credit for those numbers, the fact is that Rost was the best ‘keeper in the Bundesliga last season. Period. I felt that he should have been selected for the German team for the Euro, but what do I know?

Khalid Boulahrouz wouldn’t mind coming back to Hamburg. He was sold to Chelsea following the 2005/06 season, and spent the past season loaned out to Sevilla. Another story claims that Marseilles are hot for Boula and will likely make an offer after the Euro. We’ll see.

A follow up to an earlier post, nobody–and I mean nobody, not even his old mate Jurgen Klopp and his new club Dortmund–wants embattled striker Mohammed Zidan. The club is ready and willng to sell, and it was speculated in many places that Zidan would be reunited with his ol’ buddy Klopp now that Klopp was managing in the 1. Bundesliga. It’s just that HSV can’t get anyone to take him off their hands. Oh, and he’s a real team guy too.

Wow. I love the drama and backstabbing. Beat’s the hell out of VDV/Olic/Guerrero/Trochowski/Komapny/fill-in-the-players-name transfer rumors while we wait for the Euros.